


Dominoes

by SPNxBookworm



Category: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3900547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPNxBookworm/pseuds/SPNxBookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s only so much one can take before the smallest little thing can make everything crumble to the ground. And sometimes, it’s not as easy to get back up. It’s only a matter of time before the last domino falls to the ground.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dominoes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamremy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamremy/gifts).
  * Inspired by [An Imperfect Canvas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143116) by [iamremy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamremy/pseuds/iamremy). 



> So, this is for my amazing girl [ Naila ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyMcKwakker/pseuds/RemyMcKwakker) who's been feeling a little down these past few days and is currently probably snuggled up in blankets with a sore throat and cold. I urge anyone who reads to send her all the love <3 
> 
> This fic was kind of therapeutic to me, writing it. It's also my first ever Ethan/Will so please be gentle =P 
> 
> This is set in Naila's 'verse called [ An Imperfect Canvas. ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1143116/chapters/2313559) I'd suggest reading that before this one. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Everyone breaks, in one way or another. There’s only so much one can take before the smallest little thing can make everything crumble to the ground. And sometimes, it’s not as easy to get back up. It’s only a matter of time before the last domino falls to the ground.

 

**I.**

 

They’ve been in situations like this before. They’ve always had strategies. They totally have one now too.

 

“We’re fucked,” Ethan mutters as he stands back to back with Will, both analyzing the eight men that have formed a circle around both of them.

 

This mission was supposed to be an easy in and easy out. They were tracking a smuggler who on the pretense of being a weapons dealer would smuggle diamonds by hiding them in the body of the gun. It wouldn’t really be a case for the IMF unless the diamonds were being supplied to certain nations as funds to potentially build armies and create a bloody war.

 

They were supposed to bring down the smuggling ring. Kill the leader, round off the rest and get the weapons and diamonds back to headquarters. But obviously, with their luck something had to go wrong.

 

It always goes wrong.

 

“You got a plan in mind?” Will asks, a sharp knife in one hand and the other on his waist, resting tensely on the handle of his gun.

 

Their comms were down. Someone had tipped the leader off about them coming and they’d walked right into an ambush. Their comms stopped working halfway. Jane and Will had been together, hoping to round off the thugs while Ethan dealt with the leader. Benji was on tech, keeping the surveillance off of them and providing a support to their stealth mission.

 

With no communication, there was no way they’d get this done. Will had ordered Jane to get to the rendezvous point and had gone to find Ethan. He’d signaled to abort in front of one of the surveillance cameras, just hoping that Benji had seen it.

 

He knew that he shouldn’t be making the calls but he knew that this was the only way they were going to make it out of here. He’d literally crashed into Ethan when he’d rounded a corner and Ethan hadn’t objected to Will’s plan, having not found the chief behind the smuggling operation.

 

They’d both sprinted towards the back exit only to find themselves in the situation they were in now.

 

“On my mark,” Ethan whispers.

 

Will tenses, knowing they don’t have any other option other than fighting their way out of here. He works on trying to distract their ambushers until Ethan finds an opening.

 

“Come on guys, we can talk this out right?” Will asks, carefully casual.

 

“NOW!” Ethan yells.

 

Will charges, all his concentration on looking out for Ethan and making it out alive. He ducks a punch from the first guy and counters by driving the butt of the knife towards his temple, sending him sprawling to the ground. He swipes the man’s gun before he falls and shoots the second one, before completely disarming the gun and throwing it to the ground.

 

The wind gets kicked out of him as the third one lands a solid boot to his midriff. The guy then rushes towards Will who uses the momentum and flips him over himself, knocking him out cold.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ethan land a solid punch to his attackers jaw and can’t help but feel a little hope that they may make it out of this.

 

This little distraction turns out to be the start of Will’s undoing.

 

His remaining assailant charges towards him and Will ends up sprawled to the ground, his knife being thrown out of his hand. A barrage of blows rain down on him and he desperately works to defend himself. He feels his assailant yank Will’s gun out of its holder. He finally finds an opening and uses all his strength to throw the man off of him.

 

They both get to their feet and Will kicks the gun out of his attacker’s hands. They both struggle, wrestle for a while until Will has him in a choke-hold.

 

He hesitates a second before closing his eyes and snapping the man’s neck sideways. As much as he may try to admit it to himself, killing is never easy for him.

 

He takes in heaving breaths as he looks towards Ethan who is battling with the last man a few feet away.

 

His eyes narrow as he sees one of Ethan’s downed opponents get to his feet with Will’s previously fallen knife in hand.

 

“NO! ETHAN!” Will bellows as he sprints towards him.

 

He watches in despair as Ethan finishes off his opponent and turns around at Will’s shout only to have the knife plunged deep into his torso.

 

Will’s vision turns red as he yells in anguish. He is relentless as he fights with the last man standing. He punches every inch he can get access to, reckless. He doesn’t stop until he’s sure the man is dead.

 

“Will,” Ethan whispers.

 

Will then turns around and feels like he’s been hit by a truck. No. _Fuck, no this is not fucking happening._

 

He runs over to Ethan who is on his knees, Will’s now bloody knife resting beside him on the ground. His breath quickens as he spots the alarming amount of red covering Ethan’s torso. He holds his hand against Ethan’s wound, trying to stop the blood flow. He whispers apologies as Ethan fucking actually cries out in pain.

 

He rarely ever does that.

 

“Fuck,” Will’s hands shake. He takes off his jacket and holds it against Ethan’s wound who’s listing towards Will.

 

“No, no, Ethan don’t you dare,” Will demands, his voice breaking. He holds Ethan around the waist with one hand, the palm supporting the jacket on Ethan’s torso and uses the other hand to ring up Jane because fuck he can’t do this alone.

 

“Jane, Ethan’s down, bad. I need medics, I need something right fucking now,” Will growls into the phone, fear settling in as Ethan becomes heavier against him.

 

_“Crap. Okay. Keep him awake. I’m sending them in.”_

 

Will thanks Jane, knowing that her determination will probably make the medic team get here faster.

 

He sees Ethan’s eyes start to close. “Ethan! Stay awake, I’m here right here. You’re gonna be okay. You are not doing this to me, not now.”

 

Ethan just smiles. “You know I…I love you, righ’?” 

 

Ethan goes limps against Will. The only thing that keeps Will sane is the fast and faltering but present beats of Ethan’s heart. Will doesn’t realize how long he’s sitting there in the alley with one hand around Ethan holding the jacket to the wound and another over Ethan’s heart.

 

He feels numb as the medic team arrives, snatching Ethan away from Will, who surprisingly doesn’t put up any resistance. He sits there, numb. He hears someone talking to him in the background but it’s all too muffled to make out clearly.

 

If he hadn’t dropped his knife, this wouldn’t have happened.

 

It’s the last thought that’s etched into his brain as he feels himself drift away, almost welcoming the blackness that swallows him whole.

 

That’s when the first domino drops.

 

**II.**

Ethan feels thrilled to have company during the training sessions for the new recruits. Ever since Everett was taken in, Will wasn’t always confined to a desk. Director Brassel gave him a lot more fieldwork and usually only called him in for bits of Intel that probably were too sensitive and delicate to be handled by anyone else other than the Chief Analyst.

 

Ethan and Will, thus, got a lot more time to spend together.

 

Some of the recruits really annoyed the crap out of Ethan and he was glad to have someone with him. Will was his best choice, as always.

 

Only, after a few minutes into melee training, Ethan realizes Will is not very into it. He looks…lost. The only person to ever beat him in hand-to-hand combat is Will. And yet, Ethan is able to beat him every single time today.

 

They pair up the recruits, overseeing the melee sessions. Ethan makes rounds of the room, correcting postures and helping them get the moves right. He glances at Will to see him completely all right as he demonstrates a round house kick for one of the pairs. Soon after, they both head over for lunch before coming back to give an orientation on weapons training to a senior class.

 

All through lunch, Will doesn’t say much. Ethan feels maybe he did something wrong.

 

Will’s been off ever since Ethan got stabbed in that smuggler mission a few weeks ago.

 

Ethan made it clear to Will that it was never his fault. Only he knows Will. And he knows it’s going to be a while before he can convince his boyfriend that no one is to blame.

 

They both eat in tense silence and are soon back for the weapons training.

 

An hour or so passes by with each of them taking a small group and explaining the basics of weapons training.

 

Another thirty minutes and Ethan is wearing a padded jacket and Will holding a standard hand-held gun with rubber bullets.

 

“You all have shot a gun, I suppose?” Ethan asks. He receives nods from his students. “Shooting a black paper with a human figure drawn on it is different from shooting an actual person. This kind of training is essential because one small hesitation or mistake in the field can end up with you or your team member in a hospital bed or worse.

 

“Agent Brandt will now proceed to shoot me. This may seem a little weird, but I’d like you to concentrate on his posture, his confidence. It’s what you will need in the field if you’re ever handling a gun and are faced with an opponent.”

 

He then nods towards Will. This isn’t the first weapons training class they’ve given. So Ethan immediately knows somethings wrong when Will doesn’t smirk like he usually does. He knows something isn’t right when Will raises the gun but his hand is shaking. He then realizes he made a mistake, especially with how Will could be feeling after their last mission.

 

He’s fucked up.

 

He watches in guilt as Will suddenly drops the gun, mutters an apology before hurrying out of the room.

 

Will heaves in deep breaths as he tries to overcome the tightening he feels in his chest as he leans against the outside of the training room. The only thing he’d seen when he’d raised the gun towards Ethan’s torso was blood soaking through the jacket Ethan had been wearing.

 

Will knows it’s not real. But he can’t fucking do this.

 

He slides to the ground, sitting on his heels, his head buried in his hands.

 

Since when has he become so weak? This wasn’t the first time he’d had to do this. They’ve taken numerous classes before and the bullets are made of rubber so Will knows they can’t hurt Ethan.

 

But right now, all he sees is his knife. Ethan literally bleeding to death. The amount of times he’d flat lined in the hospital. The gnarly scar on his torso every night before they go to bed.

 

Ethan doesn’t even talk to him as much anymore. The lunch they’d had a while ago proves just that.

 

Will hears footsteps coming towards the entrance of the training room and he bolts, heading for the parking lot, ignoring Ethan calling out his name.

 

First Croatia, now this. He’ll never be anything more than a fucking screw up.

 

Will feels the tightening in his chest again as he hurries towards his car.

 

The second domino drops.

 

**III.**

Ethan’s heart lifts as Will laughs heartily at Benji’s joke. Their whole team are at a restaurant, catching up. Ethan’s wound has completely healed. Will seems happier and so does the rest of the team.

 

Ethan couldn’t ask for more. He’s surprised but happy when Will turns around and kisses Ethan, smiling.

 

“You’re in a good mood today,” Ethan remarks, smirking.

 

“Well, Benji is here. Obviously I’m in a good mood,” Will retorts, making Jane and Benji laugh over Ethan’s scowl.

 

Ethan never confronted Will about the little incident during the training session. He’d been looking for a good opportunity only Will seemed to be getting better and he’d let it go. Things were smooth and he didn’t want to ruin anything.

 

Only, Ethan got his hopes too high.

 

Will’s phone starts ringing and he excuses himself as he gets to his feet and moves a few feet away from the table so he can answer it.

 

Ethan watches as Will’s face suddenly turns pale and the latter runs a hand through his hair. Ethan knows Will’s signs. This was how he acted when something went wrong, when he was tensed, or guilty.

 

He can't hear what Will ia saying and just as he concentrates on trying to read his lips, Will cuts the call. He rests his fist against his forehead, his face surprisingly devoid of emotion. Ethan instantly knows Will has put up his mask, a defense mechanism.

 

“They need me back at HQ. Sorry guys. I gotta go,” he says curtly as he walks up to the table before smiling and laying a hand on Ethan’s shoulder before hurrying out of the restaurant.

 

Ethan returns home to find Will yelling into his phone.

 

“I trusted you, you fucktard! Because of you, there is a team out there being held hostage. You better hope I can fix this or I swear to God, you are the first person I’m hunting down!”

 

He watches in shock as Will hurls the phone across the opposite wall, breaking it.

 

“Will?” he calls out, wary.

 

Will startles as he turns around. “Ethan.”

 

“You okay?” Ethan asks. “What happened?”

 

Will’s expression suddenly turns guilty for a second before the mask is on. Ethan wishes that Will wouldn’t hide how he felt in front of him. “My informer gave me wrong Intel. He was careless and now we have a team up in Berlin who walked right into a fucking trap and are now hostages. Brassel is furious,” Will explains as he massages his temples.

 

“It’s not your fault, though!” Ethan exclaims indignantly.

 

Will sighs. “I was in charge for the Intel and specs they needed on this case, Ethan. I relied on an asshole of an informant, who, by the way, Brassel wants in custody as well,” Will runs a tired hand over his face. “I gotta get back to HQ again. Sort this shit out.”

 

Ethan watches as Will packs up his laptop and a few other essentials into a bag.

 

“Want me to come with?” he asks.

 

Will shakes his head. “There’s not much you can do. I created this mess. I need to fix it. Don’t wait up, okay?” he kisses Ethan and leaves.

 

Ethan watches the door shut in worry.

 

Something isn’t right. He can just tell. Will isn’t okay.

 

The third domino falls.

 

**IV.**

Will absently hums to himself as he works on making oatmeal for Ethan. He smirks as he remembers the time Ethan had admitted to Will that he loved oatmeal even though some people considered it to be ‘old people’ food.

 

Ethan was resting in the bedroom, nursing a few broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder from a solo mission. Will doesn’t regret flipping out on his boyfriend. He feels it was justified seeing as Ethan had literally decided to jump in front of a speeding truck, only narrowly missing getting hit but ending up with said injuries.

 

The least he can do for Ethan is make him some breakfast.

 

 _It’s the least anyone like me can do these days_ , Will thinks. He grits his teeth as he thinks about the team in Berlin.

 

He’s such a screw up. Such a goddamn screw up.

 

Croatia. Ethan getting stabbed, everything.

 

Sudden sizzling brings him out of his thoughts and he curses as he picks the pot off of the stove. He looks in dismay at the contents of the oatmeal. It’s burnt. He’d let it rest on the stove too long.

 

Ethan wrinkles his nose as the smell of something burning assaults him. Its one smell he can’t stand. He slowly sits up on the side of the bed, gritting his teeth as his ribs protest.

 

He slowly gets to his feet and makes his way towards the smell. It leads him to the kitchen in time to see Will angrily throwing contents from a pot into the dustbin. He watches in confusion as Will slams the pot into the sink to wash and turns off the stove.

 

“Will?”

 

Will turns around and Ethan catches the brief expression that shows nothing but hurt and shame before the mask is back on.

 

“Ethan. Sorry, I woke you up. I kinda…burnt breakfast. I’ll go get some take out. There’s no way I’d make anything on time now. Be right back,” he says way too quickly for Ethan’s liking.

 

However, Ethan just nods and pads back to his room as Will closes the front door behind him.

 

Will takes a deep breath outside his apartment.

 

Like he’d thought.

 

Such a screw up. He couldn’t even make oatmeal right.

 

The fourth domino stumbles to the ground.

 

**V.**

Will is a ghost of what he used to be. Nothing Ethan says seems to shake him out of it. The team in Berlin didn’t make it out. If anything, it hit Will hard.

 

Ethan would be lying to himself if he said he knew how Will was feeling.

 

They go on a couple more cases as a team and Ethan notices how much Will has changed. The Will he knew would joke around, make sarcastic remarks, and poke fun at how old fashioned Ethan can be while still being on point with his role in the mission.

 

The Will now is nothing like the previous William Brandt. He follows orders, doesn’t argue and basically acts like a robot, going through the motions. He fiercely looks out for Ethan and is almost reckless in his approach to it.

 

When Ethan once confronts him about it, Will just clams up and leaves.

 

Ethan wants to fix this. He wants to help. But it’s like Will has built a brick wall around himself which only he can break down.

 

As Will sleeps next to him, out cold after being on a twenty hour flight after an exceptionally hard mission, Ethan feels nothing but worry.

 

If he doesn’t fix this soon, he fears he could end up losing Will forever.

 

Guilt is Will’s main weakness. He holds himself responsible for everything whether or not it concerns him. It’s not healthy.

 

Will looks a lot thinner too, now that Ethan looks at him.

 

Has he even been eating well?

 

Ethan sighs as he lies supine, turning so he’s facing Will.

 

“Please let me help you,” he whispers into the night.

 

**VI.**

Ethan and Will are sitting in comfortable silence in the living room. Both on their laptops, filing reports for the respective cases they’d been working on. Both had had a few solo missions this past month and paperwork was boring but needed to be done. They’d been at it for a couple of hours now.

 

Ethan’s hand isn’t in a sling anymore. His shoulder is almost healed and the ribs as well. He feels better. He may be reckless and sometimes the injuries are worth the outcome of the case but the aftermath isn’t very fun to go through especially because of the limitations presented due to said injuries.

 

Ethan keeps glancing over at Will, knowing that something is bothering him and wishing Will would talk about it.

 

And it’s almost like his wish is granted with the events that unfold in the next couple of minutes.

 

Will’s phone rings and he gets to his feet, trying to pry it out of his back pocket with his laptop balanced in one hand. As he pulls his phone out, he loses grip of his computer and before he can do anything else, it crashes to the floor.

 

The screen cracks and several of the keys pop out.

 

The last domino falls.

 

Ethan watches in shock as Will gets to his knees to assess the damage and then suddenly hurls his phone to the opposite end of the room, breaking it.

 

It had been a new one Will had gotten for himself after demolishing his previous one the same way during the Berlin incident.

 

Ethan puts his own computer to the side as he watches as Will sits back against the couch on the ground, his knees up and his elbows resting on them, hands clutching at his hair. Ethan is startled to find silent tears streaming down Will’s cheeks.

 

He immediately gets to his feet, rushing towards his boyfriend and kneeling down in front of him.

 

“Will, what’s wrong?” Ethan asks.

 

Will just shakes his head, trying to push Ethan away.

 

Ethan remains stubborn. “No. You are not pushing me away anymore. Tell me what the fuck is wrong. It’s just a laptop, babe. We can replace it.”

 

“No,” Will chokes. “It’s not the laptop. It’s just…I’m such a fucking screw up. I don’t even know how you put up with me.”

 

Ethan frowns. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

Will laughs humorlessly. “You know, for a smart person you can be really stupid sometimes. I mean that all I’ve done these past few months is screw up. Croatia – “

 

“Enough,” Ethan says sternly. “I have told you before and I’ll tell you again. Croatia is not your fault. It was a plan and it worked out. Julia is alive and fine.”

 

Will nods as he purses his lips. He looks almost manic and it scares Ethan. “Okay. Not Croatia then. If you say so,” Will taunts, looking bitter and broken.

 

“You got stabbed and nearly fucking died because I couldn’t keep my head in the game. I fucked up royally with Intel and a whole team of agents died because of it. I even fucked up our stupid training session because all I could fucking see when I was holding the goddamn gun was blood seeping through your damn bullet proof jacket. I know it wasn’t real but _fuck,_ ” Will buries his face in his hands. “It looked so goddamn real. I even tried to make you oatmeal as breakfast a few days ago and even fucked that up. Like who the hell burns oatmeal?” Will exclaims, laughing.

 

Ethan’s worry increases tenfold as he laughter borders on hysteria.

 

“And now I break the damn laptop. All I’m doing right now is breaking everything I effin’ touch.”

 

“Will – “

 

“No, Ethan!” Will yells as he gets to his feet. “How the hell do you even put up with me?! I’m…I’m broken. I can’t do this! I’m trying so hard to be okay. So hard to not blame myself for this shit, but how can I not!? I don’t see you or Benji or Jane or Luther or anyone else screwing anything up!”

 

Ethan walks over before Will can say another word and kisses him on the lips. Will looks surprised but a fraction of a second later he responds. A few minutes later, they break apart.

 

“You are my everything. I may not say that all the time, but you are. I don’t blame you for anything that happened, okay? People make mistakes. We’re all human, here. You think I’ve never screwed up a case? You think I’ve never had a bad few months?” Ethan asks, gentle.

 

Will sniffs, staring at his feet. Ethan puts his hand under Will’s chin, slowly lifting it so Will is looking directly at him.

 

“It’s okay to not be okay, sometimes. It’s all right to have a bad few months. It’s completely fine to talk to someone, ask for help too, you know.”

 

Will sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

 

Ethan shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. You’ll get through this. And if I hear you say that you’re a screw up one more time, I will not hesitate to punch you in the face.”

 

Will laughs. A genuine laugh.

 

Ethan can’t help but join in.

 

A few seconds later, they stare at each other in comfortable silence before Will suddenly pulls Ethan into a hug.

 

“Thank you,” Will says, sincere.

 

Ethan chuckles. “Anytime. I’m always here for you.”

 

The next day Ethan personally picks out a laptop and phone for Will and surprises him with it during work. He knows he’s done right when Will’s eyes light up with happiness and life that he hasn’t seen in weeks.

 

He knows Will is not okay. He knows it’ll be a while before he will be. But that’s life. Things can knock you down, but you’ll always have someone by your side to pull you back up.

 

 **END**.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked it! I literally wrote it in one sitting.  
> Naila, I hope you loved this! <3 You mean everything to me. And I needed you to know that. 
> 
> After all, YOU ARE THE WILL TO MY ETHAN. 
> 
> Reviews are love!
> 
> Excuse any errors. This is un-beta'd and I fixed any I could find.


End file.
